Q: Why do you hate faith?
A: Why do you hate reality?
Q: What do you think of Buddhists/Hindus/Sikhs/Jedi etc.?
A: I have no problem with any of them, as last time I checked they weren't trying to take over the world.
Q: Do you use a teleprompter or read from a script?
A: No. I know what I’m going to say. I don’t need to read it.
Q: Why don’t you answer comments to your videos?
A: I get an avalanche of e-mails every day and I reply to as many of those as I can. If I started replying to comments as well I’d have no time for anything else.
Q: You don’t know what it means to have faith.
A: I don’t know what it means to you, and I don’t want to know. That’s kind of the point.
Q: You don’t understand Christianity/Islam.
A: I don’t understand smallpox or typhoid either, and I’m equally disinclined to get acquainted with them.
Q: Why shouldn’t I be allowed to raise my kids religious if I want to?
A: The same reason you shouldn’t be allowed to beat them with a knotted rope.
Q: By antagonising religious people, aren’t you making it less likely they’ll agree with you?
A: I don’t want them to agree with me. I want them to shut up and maybe see a doctor.
Q: How do you respond to atheists who say you're too crude and simplistic?
A: They're probably right, as usual.
Q: Are you academically qualified?
A: No. I left school at sixteen. My first job was washing dishes in the revolving restaurant on top of the Post Office tower in London for five shillings an hour.
Q: Do you support the BNP?
A: No. I don't support any political party, especially not one of the far right.
Q: How do you vote in elections?
A: I usually vote for the fattest candidate, on the basis that they'll take up more room on the House of Commons benches, thereby giving me more democracy for my valuable franchise.
Q: Why do you attack Christianity when Islam is a bigger threat?
A: Because our indulgence of Christianity has encouraged Islam to claim equal status and threaten our freedom.
Q: Prove God doesn’t exist.
A: That’s a tough one. Show me how it’s done by proving Zeus and Apollo don’t exist, and I’ll use your method.